It’s Life
My neighbor across the hall is 89 years old, and she has lived in the same apartment for more than 50 years. Stepping into her home is like stepping back in time. She has green fuzzy carpet, 1950s records playing on her silver record player, and flowery wallpaper in every room. Over the last few months, we have been having dinners together every other week or so. During this time, she shares stories about what her life was like when she was my age, the parties and dinners she hosted, the boys she dated, the co-workers she couldn’t stand, and much more. It is always a fun time.
Last week at our dinner (I made Chicken noodle soup), I gave her a heads up that later in the week I was having friends over for a big dinner party, which I host frequently. She was excited because it meant two things: 1. that she would get a portion of whatever I cooked, so she wouldn't have to cook dinner for herself that day, and 2. that there would be “life around her.”
I was unsure of exactly what she meant by “life around her,” so I asked her, and what she said really stuck with me. I will do my best to paraphrase and explain what I took away from the conversation.
The great part of getting old is that you get to experience more of life; the downside is the loss that you experience. She has seen the passing of her parents, family, best friends, neighbors, co-workers, pets, and a lot of people in her life. From her close friends that she grew old with, she is the only one remaining in good health. The way she described it to me is that when she hears people across the hall in my apartment laughing and having a good time, it reminds her that she is still here. She is still alive. Rather than finding reasons to be upset, she uses them as a reminder to be grateful that she is still able to experience them. Because the show does come to an end eventually, you might as well enjoy it while you still can.
It is perspective-shifting to hear the inner thoughts of people in different seasons of life. To hear how they process loss, hardships, happiness, and everything in between. To hear what they are most proud of and regret the most. To hear what they wish could go back and redo in their lives.