The Myth of The Phenom and Leaving The Oasis
The Myth Of The Phenom
Kurt Cobain is famously known for being a rock and roll icon who claimed he didn’t understand music. He seemed to roll out of bed, pick up a guitar, and write some of the best music to come out of the generation. His persona reflected this attitude of nothing matters, “I don’t care about this”, and everything comes easy to me. None of this was true. Kurt Cobain was incredibly driven and motivated, with a well-known, out-of-this-world work ethic. Was he naturally gifted? Yes. But he also outworked everyone.
This is something you see basically every single time you hear about someone being great (except with Bo Jackson, who didn’t need to work hard because he was so gifted), where they are born with some degree of innate talent, but have a level of intensity and dedication that makes them truly exceptional. The idea that some people come out of the box perfect is a fallacy that stops people from trying to be great. They think that in order to be great at something, you have to be born great at something, which is just not true.
In a sense, phenoms are the result of a natural gift and a high degree of focus. More people could be great if they wanted to be great, but more often than not, they convince themselves they cannot be great. Whether you think you can or cannot, you are correct.
Leaving The Oasis
If you haven’t read “The Alchemist” by Paolo Coelho, you should. The book follows a young man on his journey to find his personal legend (his meaning in life), and in the process of wandering through the desert and all his trials and tribulations, he stumbles upon a city in an oasis. In this oasis, he finds comfort, a job, a wife, and eventually becomes content with the life he is living there. It is not what he wanted, but he settles for it. Over time, he realizes he has given up on his dreams and is living a life he doesn’t want to live. He decides he must leave the oasis and head back into the desert, where he will continue on his journey. So, he makes the difficult decision to leave his comfortable life and venture into the unknown. I won’t spoil the rest. But the key point is that he leaves the oasis despite his life being good.
The choice to leave “the oasis” is often the most difficult decision a person can make, but without it, you will never be able to chase what you are after. This looks different for everyone; it could be leaving a job, city, relationship, or any number of things. For example, my 90-year-old neighbor across the hall has been going back and forth about moving into a senior living center after living in her current apartment for 55 years, but decided to do it. To leave what is known for the unknown is not easy. The important part here is to be cognizant of the decision you are making by not making a decision; each day you don’t act is a decision not to follow your dreams, more often than not guided by fear. It is easy to get caught up in the malaise and kick the can down the line, but time will pass whether you like it or not, and you can never get it back.
P.S. On a personal note, I am leaving my oasis of SF to go to NYC. If you are in New York, say hello.